In our society, shyness is often treated as a disadvantage that you need to get rid of. Is it so? Shyness – pathology or just a personality feature? And how parents
to support their shy children?
Parents often worry of the shyness of children. But is it worth worrying about this, or is it just a character trait?
It is easy to confuse it with introversion, but these are different things. Introverts make up for energy, spending time alone. Sometimes they want communication, but prefer to do it on their conditions. They do not like to conduct social conversations and often feel uncomfortable in large groups.
Sharp people want to communicate, but in the company they are embarrassed and anxious. Shyness can be accompanied by such physical symptoms as increased sweating and rapid heartbeat.
“Such people are often afraid of condemnation and rejection. To be shy does not mean avoiding communication. Rather, such people are worried when you need to contact others, ”says psychotherapist Katie Hardi-Uieillams.
In addition, a recent study showed that 20% of people are born with an aggravated perception of sensory information. It can manifest itself in shyness. Such children need time to get used to other people.
The pluses of shyness
Although shyness is often considered a problem, sometimes it benefits. Do not consider it a pathological. I have to look at it as a way to analyze situations. The thinking of shy people differs from the thinking of people who are easier to communicate with others. They think deeply and usually make very balanced decisions.
They fantasize a lot, which can talk about their creative potential, are very observant and pay attention to details that others do not notice.
Shynesses are also able to perceive and read emotions in terms of facial expression. This is due to their high level of empathy. They are good listeners.
Sharp people make too high demands – to respond quickly and at the same time witty and appropriate. Worry about what others think about them, and this motivates to analyze their behavior and change for the better.
Tips for parents of shy children
In our culture, extraversion is often appreciated and accepted more than introversion and shyness. Shy children feel outsidated. But parents should not condemn and shame them.
“Try to understand your shy children, show them that you understand their feelings. Do not strive to change them. We often underestimate shy people, but their development depends primarily on the attitude in the family, ”says Hardy-Wilems.
Parents can help children accept their shyness and use it as power. For example, in a playful way to create situations in which they can train social skills. Growing up, shy children often learn to communicate more openly and freely. But it is important for parents to explain to them that to love silence and solitude normally.
It is necessary to gradually accustom children to interact with others in frightening situations, to perceive them as experience. If parents support their shy child, he will learn to respect himself and consider this quality to be his strength.
Shy children need tenderness and care, like everyone else. They are completely normal, they should not be redone. Perceive as a gift their special sensitivity and sensitivity.